ED MALLOY
HUNKY MAN EXTRAORDINAIRE
Ed is the most honorable man in the nation. He believes in only the best things and is the best son a mother could have. The only way you would not vote for him is if you are the worst person in the world.
Ed has spent his life-saving women, children, and the occasional muskrat. He helped President Ronald Reagan defeat the Russians in the cold war. He helped President Bill Clinton on his pursuit to balance the budget. He help President Barak Obama be Barak Obama. Best of all he did this with no credit given to himself. Feel free to check the records. You won’t find Ed's name anywhere. At least officially.